Sure he left the toilet seat up a few times, but overall he was a good husband. You’d like him back, because everyone else out there is a lot less interesting. So your next step is to win back your ex-husband.
First of all, you have to deal with the causes of the break-up. Who was responsible for the actions that led to the divorce or separation, you or him? Obviously, if it was his actions, they are not unforgivable or you wouldn’t want him back.
If your actions were responsible, how readily will he forgive you? How good was the relationship before the acts that led to the break-up? What are the best things you and he shared in your marriage? What were the low points?
Has enough time passed that any sins committed can be more easily forgiven? Time, as the saying goes, does heal all wounds.
If the marriage produced any children, then they are a consideration as well. If they would like their father back in the home you shared together, then you might enlist their assistance if they are old enough to understand.
You have to be careful if you involve the kids because it could appear to him like you are using them to ensnare him.
If you are on speaking terms with your ex-husband, you should try to arrange a meeting with him at a quiet place, not a noisy bar or crowded restaurant. Instead, you should choose a place that both of you will associate with fond memories of your relationship.
The reason for the meeting may be expressed as, “I need to talk to you about something that is very important and affects both of us. I can’t talk on the phone, but must see you in person.”
Prepare what you want to say. Make an outline as if you were making a business presentation. This event is, after all, more important than any business meeting. Practice what you want to say and learn your lines, but don’t be too stilted when you speak to him.
Be sure to include a list of all the reasons you should get back together. You may ask for a trial period, or just to start dating. If his actions precipitated the break-up, give him your complete forgiveness. If the actions were yours, ask for his forgiveness.
If your ex-husband accepts your invitation, half the battle is won. It is a sign that he has no problem meeting with you and talking. If he was very resentful over the divorce, he might not agree to meet at all.
Refrain from anything that might be construed as begging, pleading or playing on his sympathies. This is a huge turn-off to most people and would probably make it even harder for you to connect with your former husband.
If the meeting doesn’t work or isn’t possible, you should see if you can have a third party intervene. Your priest, pastor, rabbi or other Church official is a good place to start. Another alternative is a good mutual friend or couple who will talk to your ex-husband for you.
His relatives are also a possible source you can use to reconnect with your ex-husband. You could enlist their aid to get him to listen to your proposal.
Leave no stone unturned, nor any legitimate act undone if you want to reconnect with him.