If your marriage has seen better days and you fear a final chapter is coming, it may be possible to take steps to prevent divorce. Making an attempt to save your marriage alone, when your spouse is nonresponsive, can be extremely difficult, but is not impossible.
Embarking on a mission to save your marriage alone doesn’t come with any guarantee of success. If your spouse is being difficult, refuses to talk or even refuses to admit there may be serious issues facing your union, you can take it upon yourself to act alone initially to save your marriage.
The following tips can help you save your marriage alone and may enable you to open your spouse’s eyes before it’s too late:
* Identify the trouble spots – Trying to do this as you work to save your marriage alone can be extremely difficult. If your spouse will not open up and share, you may not get a complete picture of the issues you face. Still, you can work on your own to identify obvious concerns such as a lack of communication, a waning of intimacy, a lack of caring, and so on. Look inside your relationship and try to identify the major cracks in the foundation.
* Brainstorm solutions – Once you’ve identified some areas of concern, brainstorm for solutions you can work towards on your own. Trying to save your marriage alone can present challenges to implementing the solutions you’ve formulated. You need to be aware of the fact your spouse may not be willing to offer the true give-and-take a relationship needs to heal and rebuild. Even so, you may find some solutions you can put into action on your own.
* Try to communicate – After you’ve evaluated your problems and how to potentially solve them, try to open up a dialogue with your spouse. Make your attempt to save your marriage alone known to your spouse. By sharing, you may inspire your spouse to also step in and take action. Even if you don’t, go ahead and share your concerns and ideas for reconciliation and listen carefully to the responses.
* Take action – If you are still working to save your marriage alone after trying to communicate with your spouse, it is likely there are some steps you can take to put action behind your words. If you have stated you’ll become more positive and loving, try to do so. It can be helpful to bolster your positive side by using affirmations, meditating or even seeking counseling. If there is an issue of taking your spouse for granted, now is the time to show you are trying to overcome it. Whatever you have identified that needs addressing, try to achieve it.
* Re-evaluate the situation – If you have clearly stated your intent and have taken action to try to save your marriage alone, and you still aren’t getting your spouse to acknowledge your problems or want to work on them, it may be time to re-evaluate your situation. Consider making another attempt at communication or even try different actions and gauge the results.
* Remain positive – Taking steps to save your marriage alone can be very difficult, but they do sometimes pay off. Try to remain positive as you work on the problems you can tackle on your own. Even if you are not ultimately successful in your attempts to salvage your relationship, you will likely come out of the situation stronger and happier with yourself for having made the attempt.
Marriage is a two-way street. There are times, however, when one spouse has to take action to save the relationship. Saving your marriage alone will not always work, but the effort can be very worthwhile to try.