If you find yourself suddenly dealing with a crisis in your marriage, it may seem as though it appeared from nowhere. You spouse may have decided to end the marriage or may have admitted to no longer loving you. Whatever the cause, it’s certain that you are going through a confusing and painful time. You probably have no idea of what to do because you never had such a crisis before and you aren’t sure how to react. Fortunately, though, there are some things that you can keep in mind in order to get through the crisis without having to end your marriage.
Give More than Fifty Percent
Many couples will tell you that the key to a successful marriage is in having a 50/50 relationship. But when your spouse has decided to end the relationship and is obviously not working towards the same goals that you have, then you’ll have to do more than your fair share to keep the marriage alive.
If your spouse has asked for a divorce or separation or has simply stated that there is no love left, there is still hope that you can get your marriage back. There is even the possibility that your marriage could be better than ever if you can survive this marriage crisis. Relationships are rarely good all the time. They are like the waves of the ocean, peaking and then dropping back down. There is still hope that your relationship could reach that next peak if you stay positive and do whatever it takes to make your marriage work.
Learn to Identify “Justification”
Your partner may seem to be extremely angry and complain about everything you have ever said and done throughout the duration of your marriage. Don’t assume that these complaints are the real reason that your spouse has decided to end the relationship. If your spouse is feeling guilty for the current crisis, she may express anger to justify her decision. The more complaints made against you, the less likely it is that any of them are the real reason for the separation and you should try not to take them personally.
Make Changes to Other Areas of Your Life
Although this probably isn’t the best time to switch careers, it is the ideal time to start a hobby in which you have always been interested. Add some activities that you can enjoy so that everything going on in your life isn’t negative and isn’t related to your marriage. Taking on new challenges can help you feel better about yourself and may make your spouse see you as a more interesting person.
Give Your Spouse the Space Needed
If your spouse has decided to end your marriage, the last thing you should do is follow her, call her incessantly, or bother her at work. How can anyone expect to get through this type of crisis without having the opportunity to sort through their feelings? Instead of demanding that she tell you what her thoughts are, give her the chance to find out the answer for herself. There is the possibility that she doesn’t know on what she is basing her decision but is just feeling a “loss of self”. In that case, some time may be all it takes to change her mind about ending your relationship.
Getting through a crisis in your marriage can take a lot of time and the spouse that has decided to end the relationship may need to deal with some personal issues before deciding what to do about your marriage. If you are dedicated to doing everything you can to keep your marriage together, there is always hope of getting through the crisis without it ending in divorce.