If your relationship has ended in divorce, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be over for good. Given time, persistence and a willingness to take some steps to rebuild and improve, you might be successful in an effort to win back your ex-wife.
Before you embark on a journey to try and win back your ex-wife, though, it is well worth exploring your personal motivations. If you can identify where things went wrong and what might be necessary to fix them, and you truly believe the relationship is worth salvaging, you can proceed with a clear conscience. If your relationship was unhealthy from the start or involved serious breaches of trust, you may want to seriously consider alternatives to getting back together.
But if you are genuine about wanting to win back your ex-wife, these steps may help:
* Let her know how you feel – If you ever want a chance to win back your ex-wife, she has to know your intentions and why you believe your relationship can be rebuilt for the better. Clearly state your case and the steps you are willing to take to put things back on solid footing.
* Admit mistakes – Even if your breakup was “technically” your ex-wife’s fault, relationships are a two-way street. When they fall apart, both parties are usually to blame. So admit your mistakes and explain what you’d like to do to remedy them.
* Listen to her – You may find that your ex-wife isn’t all that interested in getting back together but has plenty to say about what went wrong. Or on the contrary, you may find that she has been feeling exactly the same way. In either case, listen to what she has to say and take in her suggestions and criticisms with the genuine intention of processing what she is saying. Don’t go on the defensive, and refrain from interrupting. Your mission here is to listen to her and understand what she has to say.
* Give her some time – If she asks for some time to process what you’ve said or to think about the proposition, give it to her. While it might seem like a great idea to try and woo her and sweep her off her feet again immediately, don’t try this, at least not right away. You might get her attention by making grand gestures, but you might just as easily annoy her and drive a bigger wedge between the two of you.
* Work on yourself – One of the best things you can do to win back your ex-wife is to demonstrate your willingness to become a better partner. Do this by working on personal changes you’d like to make, taking on a positive approach to life and becoming the person you want to be. Do not change for her, but take steps to be the stronger, better and healthier person you know you can be.
* Take it slow – If your ex-wife does agree to try and work things out, go slowly. Do not expect to repair a damaged relationship overnight. Carefully work through each issue you need to tackle together. Go on dates and learn to enjoy each other’s company again. Rekindle your love and slowly work on the passion.
Even if you are unsuccessful in following the steps to win back your ex-wife, making a genuine effort can give you the closure you need to move on that the court proceedings didn’t provide. By stating your feelings and intent and taking steps to improve who you are, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. This can be very attractive to others, perhaps even your ex-wife.