When you first went your separate ways, you may not have thought you would ever be concerned about how to get your ex back. Now that the anger and hurt has subsided, you may not even remember if it was your idea, hers, or by mutual agreement that the breakup occurred. All you know is that you are ready to get her back and you don’t know where to start. Here are some tips on what you should and shouldn’t do to improve your odds:
1. Don’t be a pushover. Even if she complained during your relationship that you were too overbearing, that doesn’t mean she wants a man who isn’t strong enough to stand up to her. Threatening to jump off a bridge if she doesn’t take you back isn’t going to make her come running back.
2. You can’t get your ex back with flowers and gifts. If she has already lost the feeling of attraction she had for you, she probably won’t consider coming back to the relationship unless she somehow gets that feeling back. So no matter what you give her, it isn’t going to change the way she sees you personally.
3. There has been a lot of advice written about the importance of finding what it was that you had together in the beginning of the relationship. Realistically, people change and whatever she admired most in you in the beginning may be more of an irritant at this point than something she finds attractive. Instead, think of things that she has mentioned or responded to in a more positive way recently. Chemistry can be one of the most important ingredients to help you get your ex back and the most impressive thing you can do may be something that seems insignificant to you.
4. One of the worst things you can do is try to use jealousy to get your ex back. If you take another woman out and make sure that all of your mutual friends know it so that it will get back to her, she won’t come running back. In fact, she may think you didn’t care very much for her in the first place.
5. Don’t turn into a desperate stalker. Chasing her and calling her every five minutes is not the way to get your ex back. Instead, it’s a way to descend to a whole new level in the wrong direction. She has a mind of her own and she will have to make the decision to come back on her own. Harassment isn’t going to persuade her.
6. Don’t refuse to get professional help. Men don’t normally like the idea of going to counseling because it simply goes against their nature to allow someone else to solve their problems for them. If you are sincere in wanting to know how to get your ex back, then be open to counseling. You may find that counseling is the one way that you can gain perspective that you might never otherwise have.
7. If you are to blame for the break-up, then apologizing sincerely for hurting your ex will go farther than anything else you can say. A sincere apology is one which includes more than those two little words. Include an explanation of why you are sorry that will let her know you understand how your actions have hurt her so that she will believe you will never hurt her again.
Depending on a number of factors, you may get your ex back easily or you may have to come to terms with the fact that the breakup is for good. However, a thoughtful approach has more potential for a positive outcome than one that is reckless.